September 2005

Eye-Yo, Hmm Chai See, And Hmm… Sai Siong!!!!

“About 79 per cent of adult Singaporeans are short-sighted – the highest incidence in the world. Myopia in Singaporean children is among the highest too.”- Lifestyle, The Sunday Times Aug 14, 05.

No worries, it is not the work of the Government. God’s work, perhaps. For all we know, it’s some ‘cosmic alliance’ that the myopia incidence is highest in Singapore. Myopia as a metaphor, if you will. Could it be our National Day’s dazzling fireworks or the spectacular visual avalanche of patriots marching in flag-venerating salute that have ‘overworked’ and ‘overwhelmed’ Singaporeans’ eyes? If so, again no worries, the Gov. is not to be blamed if Singaporeans don’t know how to handle such frothy nation-building glory and eye-candy. Point is, being a nation of win-win media-maneuvers, such nation-building glory can be ‘blind spots’, or even ‘blinding spots’ to the already weak-eyed. No worries, Mr. Gov., we are surely born that way and it ain’t your doing. You are bum-ass covered. After all, it’s media win-win, yah?

A siow friend pointed out that Jerry Garcia died on Aug 9, 1995. So every time National Day rolls around for us, it’s also time to pay tribute to the Grateful Dead. I trust rockers won’t forget that cosmic nudge from heaven.

“Crime watch: Huang Na, Sindee Neo, Liu Hong Mei. Why is the public so fascinated with crime?” a Sunday Times headline asked on Aug14, 05. Let’s see, because Singaporeans are bored out of their freakin’ mind, they have no life, they don’t know it, and there’s a necessary social agenda to engage them for neighborly crime-watch vigilance anyway? Better yet, perhaps it’s just another distracting question, no… make that big alarming editorial question, to distract Singaporeans from ‘other’ national questions that wouldn’t be for their own good to ask? You realize, I’m also merely asking here. And, like most of our national editorials on social norms with a question mark, I’m not really looking for an answer either!

“Okay, hands up all you out there who cheat on parking coupons… You’ve saved the princely sum of 50 cents. Everyone I’ve asked confesses to cheating on parking coupons. I did too. It’s a strange psychology,” Chua Mui Hoong wrote in The Sunday Times that same day. For her, the whole essay was another important exercise in tending to Singaporeans’ social behavior. In her own words - “…try to avoid sending (to children) confused signals and model good behavior.” As for me, I ask – what’s that strange psychology of cheating she refers to really about in the local context? Let’s see, Singaporeans are bored out of their freakin’ mind, they have no life, they don’t know it, and there’s now a necessary social agenda to engage them for neighborly crime-watch vigilance? Better yet, perhaps it’s born out of a compulsive need to try to counteract Big Brother’s win-win regimentation with a similar tit-for-tat mentality of petty and hair-splitting ends? Anyone for thinking out of the box there? Any socially daring thinking psychologist and behaviorist to help analyze the psychology? No? Just as I thought!

Suddenly, I remember the ever-wonderful ex-Straits Times editor Koh Buck Song’s outburst of ‘disbelief’: “One of the most surprisingly unique things about this country is its ability to have its cake and eat it” (ST, Apr27, 05). You can always rely on the humanitarian Koh to come up with a Freudian tuck. So, can you blame the thinking behaviorists and psychologists for not saying a word? Or, are we still surprised that no report in the papers ever dare ask why the NKF… Maybe, I should indulge in the common non-dare and stop myself too! Ahh, feels so good to be soooo kiasu… Not that I just realized!

Look! My darling Sai – as in the former Straits Times columnist Tan Sai Siong – has, of late, been showing healthy signs of returning to the morning-pulp fore. She’s all the more a darling cos she still displays such old-school high-handed-ness in this day and age of veiled persuasions. Like… this is the true voice of Big Brother speaking.Let’s hope that she won’t scare off our ready-to-speak youths. On Aug 19, 05, she wrote about the re-election of our president: “Contest for contest’s sake? No way.” Gee whiz, I wonder if she’d be so kind to spare us of the next General Election by saying ‘Election for election’s sake, why bother?’ I mean, is there anyone who believes that the PAP won’t win in the next GE? So, if we are that certain and know for a fact that PAP is best for Singapore, why an election for the sake of an election? You know I’ve always loved a walk-over. Darling Sai is a marvel! Don’t you dare DC her!

We interrupt this self-serving moment to bring you news from the AFP on Aug 11, 05; something the Straits Times didn’t breathe a word about. Wonder why (and that’s not really a question). “Riot police broke up a rare demonstration by four people demanding greater transparency and accountability in Singapore's state-managed pension fund and other government-linked agencies. A dozen anti-riot police wearing helmets and knee-high protective gear and carrying shields and batons formed a phalanx outside the offices of the Central Provident Fund (CPF) as a commanding officer approached the demonstrators.

"You are committing an offence of public nuisance. If you don't disperse you will be arrested," the officer told the protesters as business people and employees watched in the central business district. The four protesters, among them an office administrator and the sister of an opposition leader, Chee Soon Juan, voluntarily dispersed. They denied being part of any political group.

“Under the law, any public protest of at least five people without a police permit is deemed illegal. The protest took place as Singapore was in the midst of official celebrations of its 40th anniversary of independence. The protesters hoisted placards calling for greater openness in how the government handles public funds used for retirement pensions, overseas investments and the building of subsidized high-rise apartments. “Monica Kumar, 45, one of the protesters, said they had been inspired by public outrage that followed revelations last month that the chief executive of Singapore's biggest charity, the National Kidney Foundation (NKF), was being paid 350,000 US dollars annually.

"In reality, the NKF is reflective of the entire system in Singapore where public matters are run in a non-transparent and non-accountable manner," the protesters said in a statement. The statement called on the Housing Development Board and the Government of Singapore Investment Corporation (GIC) to open their books for public scrutiny. GIC manages more than 100 billion US dollars in funds and invests globally.”

These people… really! Eat finish, nothing better to do! Scrutiny? How to, with rampant myopia? Besides, we should trust the Gov. implicitly in ALL matters, mah. Demonstrate for what? As I’ve said before in these Files and to show I’ve not forgotten it on the occasion of our nation’s 40th birthday, altogether now – “Sing Chee, bye!… if you’re winning!” (Attack Of The SM Space Encroachers, chapter 47). Now, if only that Monica whatever was 22 instead of 45, the protest might have been sweet for Big Brother after all. Oh, very young…. Where are they when they are badly needed to join in those alarming protests? C’mon, future leaders of tomorrow… Let’s see you shake some action now! Alas, they’ve got that myopia affliction and are simply addicted to bread-&-butter issues to buy the latest street-wear and the cheapest hoon kee. Shall we say – God made them that way?

“In the best possible world, your culture should not have to bear any relationship to your genetic make-up” – playwright David Henry Hwang was quoted in ST, Aug 16, 05. Since we are the best, let’s just blame it on God, yah? Or, perhaps, like our docile Chinese uncles and aunties would say, it’s all part and parcel of “urban social pressure”.

Indeed, the rampant myopia has blinded us from the real word, which appears to be pleasure in the eyes of Big Brother. Like I would know! Do you? – X’Ho