October 2004

Obvious Monopoly Restored (Oh How We Rule Out Obvious!)

Sept.,‘04 was the month when Singapore’s national media triumphed shamelessly…. again. (Or should that be shameless na… Nah, the self-defendant in me says cannot!).
In early Sept., BigO Update – the bi-weekly e-mailer (which carries monthly updates of my Files) ceased circulation. To date, no one knows why. Some suspect it’s an act of self-censorship before the anti-spam laws come into effect. One thing is obvious, its endless Mirror Of Youthful Opinion countdown of no-weapons-of-mass-destruction-found, ISD-detainees-still-detained, etc. was too intensely pleasurable for Big Brother to stomach. Anyone could guess that. So why is BigO so mum about the closure of its Update? What causes silence?

Oh, have you heard of this terrific metal magazine called Terrorizer? It comes with a free CD-sampler called Fear Candy. No kiddin’. My thoughts now stray towards the Necessary Stage and Najip Ali, as I imagine how these poor pals of mine must have once ‘headbanged’ out of line into acquiescence to, at least, swim ‘mainstream’. Or is it just age? Good self-warning it is then… Before I get OLD, too…!

On Sept. 17, ‘04, news broke that Singapore Press Holdings’ TV channels U & i will merge with Mediacorp’s channels 8 & 5 and TV Mobile under a new company Mediacorp TV Holdings Pte. Ltd, while the free newspaper Streats (published by SPH) will merge with Mediacorp’s Today paper. In simpler terms – i and Streats will close. What was the headline from the Straits Times on the matter? ‘Win-win mergers’ (Sept.18, ’04), no less.

One industry associate remarked – “See, Singapore is too small for a media competition”. Oh, but of course, darling. Like I said before, “If John Littles wanna open 10 new Marks & Spencer and call it competition (in retail), of course the premise is too small…”(Dec., ’03 X’ Ho-Files). Not to mention all the rules. Anyway, guess what our nation’s pillar-propping press in the pen of Chua Mui Hoong trumpeted in relation to the merge? “Given the cut-throat competition that saw both companies bleeding for four years, few would have predicted such a win-win deal.” (ST, Sept.19, ’04). How not to marvel or chuckle at such a bum-sucking remark! And what does Mediacorp have to divulge? It will focus on “going regional” (Sept.18, ’04). I could have told you that even without a six-month-bonus prospect.

One siow friend pointed out – “Taiwan’s free media was slammed in the papers that very same day of the merge news. In Singapore, we have no such problem at all. All dogs under one woof now.” Have been and always will be, may I add. Another wise pal reminded in partial Singlish – “Why are we still jerking ourselves over what the garment says, promises, dangles… Surely we know better by now to do despite, in spite…RIP.” Yes, we’d surely hold our peace, but to say nothing while those bum-sucking licks fly would be like letting Chee Soon Juan go scot-free… Have to be Singaporean about it mah.

It’s true, we should be glad of the merge. It points to one clear Unique Singapore phenomenon – redoubtable monopoly. Let Ms. Chua come up with 200 synonyms of sugar-coated rationale for it. It’s her job to do so anyway. As long as we know better than to bother beyond rejoicing for Nanny’s good old (undisguised) monopoly restored… Must be her utter belief in Zircon Gov. Pawn Starz’ album-title Follywood that has prompted her to conclude – let’s not kid ourselves!

Here’s one bleedin’ news that should surprise no one as well…”Durian smells good” (ST, Sept.21,‘04) - on how the non-profit, public-funded arts center The Esplanade is in the black. “Do the math (on) key figures from financial year 2003/2004”, it tells us. Total operating expenditure - $48.9 million. Total income -$17.3 million. Deficit before grants - $31.6 million. Total government grants - $39.7 million. Balance from grants - $8.1 million. What does that tell a layman like me? Obviously, what Big Brother wants (to achieve), Big Brother gets. Next time He says no go, just know it means he no want to go. $39.7 million leh! Can you honestly say it didn’t partly come from Passion?

For the love of death-metal amidst this Cradle Of Filth, let me shout it out loud like a lover Enslaved to all disbelieving devils out there – our nation is an obvious success! That’s obvious? If it were so, the newspaper wouldn’t resort to such ridiculous bum-sucking lengths to make believers of us all. Then again, it would anyhow. Kiasu, after all, is as kiasu does.

Wanna hear a doubled bum-suck?

Some senior research fellow (Sunanda K.Datta Ray) at the Institute of SE Asian Studies wrote in the Straits Times’ Commentary/Analysis on Sept.2, ‘04: “Singaporeans, including the most intellectual critics of the system, are far too comfortable with the status quo to hanker for a real transformation. But this might come about willy nilly, if the man at the top desires it, and that is what I fear most about the new leadership.” Tasty. Nothing like a groveling and slobbering intellectual lick. But allow me to show you the bum-crack.

A taxi driver casually pointed this out in the ST on Sept.19, ‘04: “When (foreigners) ask me about Singapore, I tell them what I know, but when they discuss politics with me, I tell them I don’t know and cannot comment. We were told during courses that we are drivers, not politicians, and should not discuss politics.” So now we know for sure!
Willy nilly, sugar-Ray may be too comfortably ensconced in his BMW to know the true hair-splitting dictates decreed by our (new) leaders. Grass-roots is obviously not where academic bum-suckers slaver their licks right, no matter how doubly sugar-coated their artful tang is. Tang goodness, there’s still Ms. Chua! - X’Ho

P.S. Note to Big Brother. Don’t let your pen-pushing press-slaves tell you I’m doing them great disservice, when in fact, I’m keeping them on their toes. Big-fat salaries and suck-up allegiance have their own way of getting complacent and carelessly ‘obvious’. Consider it my volunteer work.