March 2005

Desperately Seeking Future-Leaders: Speak Up If You're Young (Old Man Swallows All His Pride!)

It's no ordinary blow-up job. The New Paper's front-page headline on Feb 5, '05 was: “Why so rude , young man? – Singapore undergrad explains himself after taking on LKY at university forum.”

First of all, what that headline really says is ‘Why, you're so suitably rude, young man!' - even though it was unthinkable rudeness flaunted towards, gasp, the Minister Mentor… oh, sorry, it's got to be LKY in this context, we mustn't sound stand-off-ish towards the young. Ingratiating them is the big issue at hand. Never mind that the said history-undergrad from NUS, one Jamie Han - in calling for the ISA to be repealed - leveled words like “despot” and “tyrant” towards the revered one at the forum on Jan 31. (Imagine if it were Chee Soon Juan caught with those accusations in public by our nation-building press!).

I love it when agenda-propping gets all desperation-maximus. Suddenly, it doesn't matter that the propping-tactic was so transparently cheap (this comes from a tribe that considers armchair criticism a form of whining, so what d'ya expect?). The tactic at hand is, of course, to encourage young Singaporeans to “speak up, even if it jars” (see last month's X'Ho-Files). After all, our nation is running the risk of having no future leaders if Singaporeans remain fearfully shut-up. However, only the young (and gullible) need apply, cos the speaking-up welcome is rather age-sensitive in this, pardon the pun, open age of Remaking Singapore. Anyhow, we do want the older generation to remain fearful and subservient. Look at all you've achieved and what you stand to lose if you dare speak up! But the young? They have yet to accomplish anything to know what the Singapore fear aka ‘rarely enforced' principle (see below) is.

My siow friend told me the other day that a Minister told media students in the papers that “nothing will happen” now if one breaches OB-markers. Please, let's not have Chee know about this, he might enroll himself in media studies and waste all our time later reading about ‘court-dates'. As for OB-markers… sigh, must I go through it again to remind all that, according to one Minister Yeo some time back, OB-markers really can't be defined, because if they were clearly defined, people will find ways and means around them and say they are not committing an offence! So, breaching OB-markers? How do you avoid breaching something that can only be defined on the State's fancy? Actually, the truer question is - are you of the qualifying young age to do so?   (BTW, is there a mention of age-discrimination in our national pledge? Better amend it quick if there is, before the ‘transparency' reveals itself to another outspoken young Han out there).

“Singapore is a small country with a big heart” went a clip on Channel News Asia. Wow, we're talking sweet Grace and generosity of spirit here, y'all, from a country that lets you buy one bottle of duty-free liquor coming in through the airport but decrees that giving it away as a gift is illegal!!! (We all know about the backside-covering ‘rarely enforced' rationale behind it as well). So, big heart?

Funny, my Thai friend thinks Singaporeans have a black heart. My Hong Kong pal thinks we are really petty and kiasu a self-glorifying nation of diplomatic blunders (remember the ‘snot' remark from Taiwan?). And a British chum asked me through SMS – Why are Singaporeans such cunts? Ahh, that explains it. We've got to keep saying things like “small country with a big heart” and “free and open”, because when you look at the reality around, you know we've simply got to! Why do you think the media has to be controlled?   If not, who's gonna do all the repair-work? (It's called nation-building, we gather.) Some banned book (shh!) may have the title A Media Enthralled, but really, it's more The State Enthralling. Tough work, babe. But guess who dug the appalling grave in the first place?

Maybe that's why the public show of swallowing pride now. Just as the saying about the bed goes, if you dug the grave, so must you lay in it. But no worries, I'm sure the gullible young would be completely bowled over by the diamond-studded coffin in the shape of a big heart with a Singapore Shared $ing dollar on top. Not to mention the foam party all around and skate ramps on the fringe, graffiti-art for wreaths…. Maybe even some grave-top dancing. But please, no chatting with bystanders before, during and after , hor !

Recommended tombstone-plate: Here lies Rarely Enforced – The Discreet Principle Of Emotional Fas___. I'll have to let you fill in the blank there. After all, you know I'm really not “forever 27” nor did I just graduate yesterday. – X' Ho