December 2005

Dodo Heaven, Civility Hell

“Dinesh Bhatia turns superstar salesman” – the headline SCREAMS on the front page of The Sunday Times’ features-blurb on Oct 16, 05. Bhatia is the Nominated MP’s son who was recently charged in court for drug possession and consumption. So, look at how he’s turned over a new leaf! Not that the paper dared to make the point of the story that obvious by mentioning the drug transgression in the feature. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for Bhatia. Really. It’s the way the obvious propping of role models as an agenda that I find too transparent and shameless to stomach. No worries, the general public here is too stupid and numbed out to bother with the point behind the feature. It’s also about looking after an anxiety too -‘We gotta do something about his public reputation!’ and ‘don’t say we’re not gracious about giving offenders a second chance!’

Staying on course of the national-agenda is everything! And it don’t matter how transparent the tactic looks. We’re in dodo heaven, in case you don’t know! And never mind Big Brother’s exhortation to “use your brain”! Like the “Courtesy is our way of life” campaign, it won’t expire in its cautionary purpose, because the ‘reverse’ is the true reality on these shores.

Here’s something else that’s so obvious but no one dares mention it. “Jack Neo and Dick Lee have made history by being the first film-maker and pop musician (respectively) to win the Cultural Medallion. But some critics wonder if commercial success should equate artistic merit” – The Straits Times asked on Oct 22, 05. As we all know commercial success does not necessarily rule out artistic merit. So the question is, at best, a little skewed. Really, here’s the truer question the paper would not dare ask – should promoting a national agenda be equated with bestowing artistic merit? Cos we all know why those ‘pop artists’ are being awarded, don’t we? Let’s encourage all to participate in the arts! Not a bad thing per se. But alas, asking that would bring to question the fundamental reason why we are promoting the arts in the first place – and it’s all about economic survival. You think we love the humanities that much? Try kidding me, baby! Go ahead, prove me wrong cos heads I win, tails you lose! Isn’t the arts so ‘it’ for me!

Once in a long while, we do witness a concerned Singaporean who does bother (to analyze and such). One Kelvin Lau Jit Hwee wrote to The Straits Times on Oct 14, 05 about the political films Act in Singapore. He pointed out that young film-maker Martyn See ran foul of the law by making a documentary on opposition-party leader Chee Soon Juan. (The Films Act renders all local political films as objectionable.) But what about the fact that “Mediacorp screened a series on PAP leaders. Is it possible that it could have violated the Act?” – he asked. O sweet, earnest Lau. I assure you that whatever Mediacorp screened is naturally a historical, and not political, documentary. You want to argue? I doubt if anyone in the public would want to. And I’m sure the national press would prove me right (if it hasn’t already).

A letter to The Sunday Times’ Inbox on Oct 9, 05 stated: “The attitudes and values of some university students here are a cause for concern. My husband and I boarded a bus with our 18-month-old son. It was packed with students from the National University of Singapore. I expected at least one of the undergraduates to offer us a seat, as I was carrying my child in one arm, but none bothered to do so. They just stared at me and my son. This incident makes me wonder if there is something wrong with our education system, or even with our family values.” The letter writer was one Mdm. Yvonne Lee.

My-my, Mdm. Lee, whatever gave you the idea that there’s nothing wrong with our education system for you to be so surprised? If only I’d been on that same bus with you, I would have given the students a good piece of my mind. Especially when they are students, not Ah Bengs, I would’ve loaded the tongue lashing double-fold. Knowing who to bully, and then go all out to do it, is certainly one thing I’ve learned from this no-dirty-laundry system.

Why were you shy to verbally insist on a seat? Should the system teach you to understand you have the right to ask for one when you have a child in your arm? As for family values… these days, it’s a bit of a misnomer-term, y’know, cos it’s really about economics, more than sound values. Don’t believe me? Please know that there are now officially sanctioned gay saunas with no-towel nights thriving in our Republic, despite the law against homosexuality. So what’s your family values pitched against our nation’s economic survival and the pink-dollar issue , with absolute transparency thrown in the mix? Maybe, you do deserve to be left standing in the bus to learn a reality or two before the Singapore reality stands you up some more in future. Let me gently shout – WAKE UP, THIS IS SINGAPORE! What do you expect? If the going’s good, it’s a bonus. We’re in civility hell, don’t you know?

“Warwick University’s plans to set up a branch in Singapore have met with opposition from its own senior lecturers,” The Straits Times reported on Oct 14, 05. “Many of its lecturers remain unconvinced over issues such as academic freedom, financial viability and the university’s ability to attract quality students and staff” (- my italics). Oh, let’s consider re-phrasing things delicately, now! Image is everything (and I’m not one to take it for granted despite my verbal dare, I assure you).

Well-well, just before I could say, what the government wants, the government gets, there was this front-page headline on Oct 22: “No curbs on what scholars here can study” – the Minister of Education says. Which of course is true, until some silly ignorant lecturer happens to breach a subject that ‘interferes with domestic politics’. And Lord knows it’s so much harder for foreigners to know the minefield of OB-markers in our well-regimented country of a funky-&-open veneer. After all, if the dire happens, it won’t be about academic resourcefulness but undermining social stability and industrial peace!

Very quickly before the debate about Warwick got too heated, the university itself issued a statement that was published that same Oct 22 day to say - “Finances, not freedom, worried Warwick University”. But of course, the whole world knows how much more freer than ever Singapore has become. Why debate the fact, yah?!!

Then, on Oct 25, the Director of Schools from the Ministry of Education announced in an almost unrelated statement to the Warwick issue -- “No proselytizing allowed in schools” (ST Forum). I suppose it’s up to Father Paternal (who always knows best) to decide what constitutes proselytizing, yah?! My siow friend thinks that getting kids in history class to believe that it was Sir Stamford Raffles, not Sang Nila Utama, who discovered Singapore does NOT constitute proselytizing. I oso think soooo too! I’m quite sure proselytizing is best defined in good ole nation-building lingo, like economic peace and industrial peace. Yah?!

“Casino watchdog will have bite” – went a headline on Oct 20. Oh, I’m sure. But question is – will it also have the same exonerative power for ‘honest mistakes’ that the watchdog of Slim 10 has? Come to think of it, my question is way too rhetorical even for me to stomach. But who bothered to bark upon it the slightest in dodo paradise? These days free speech does take on a whole new meaning on these shores when you think of what could be gotten away with! If Singapore has no bite, we may as well fly kite! Not that we don’t, as it is!

The very week news broke about my new line of T-shirts Evil Lurks, a letter by one Woo Seng Hong to The Sunday Times on Oct 23 said: “I was offended by the messages printed on T-shirts worn by two young men in the Bugis Junction area two weeks ago. One message in bold lettering said: ‘I am surrounded by idiots’. The other was a large picture showing the ‘third finger’. The men moved around with their girlfriends among the crowds with an air of nonchalance. Such a scenario must surely be deemed an infringement of the Public Entertainment and Meetings Act by the police because offensive messages were being flashed prominently by the wearers.”

Oh dear, sweet Woo, in this day and age of MTV Punk’d, hip & swinging Urban lifestyle culture and ready Internet access, one should never finger out the specific T’s in our ardently funky-&-open arena, the supplier may not be able to cope after that! Besides, you do forget we wanna encourage the young to express themselves even in ways that may consider too wayward - like calling our divine ruler a despot! You are talking about T’s that the young want to wear! Deprive them of a skate park and we’ll be in no-future-leaders hell! I would imagine same goes for CDs, T’s, and your all-important Nike and Adidas.

By the way, wink-wink, what made you wait two weeks before bothering to write to the press?

Dec 05