December 2004

Policy Justified (Oh, But Of Course!)

For those who think that I’ve often over-stated our System’s penchant for win-win justification, I’ve got news for you. A report in the Straits Times on Nov 18, ’04, with the headline “No independent media?”, went: “ Singapore’s reputation as a global city will not be affected by international media organization - Reporters Sans Frontiers (RSF) ranking the Republic as the lowest developed country in terms of press freedom.” The reason given by Big Brother’s henchman – “Singapore’s media model was different.” Of course it is, darling.

Not unexpectedly and never too obviously defensive, the report then went on to point out that, nonetheless, “Singapore was ranked the second most global country in the 2004 A.T.Kearney Globalization Index, which ranks countries on economic integration, technological connectivity, personal contact and political engagement… Singapore also emerged as the best governed city in another survey by Jones Lang LaSalle, based on aspects of governance such as integrity, stability and efficiency, he (-that certain local Minister) added.” (So, I guess it wouldn’t be too much for me to rip-roar – we’re simply the greatest!).

Returning to that press-freedom ranking, the Minister’s statement was: “Our media has a tremendously important role in this national effort by rallying Singaporeans to do the things which matter most to Singapore. This is certainly more important than… to gain the favors of international ranking association.” Oh, so then we shouldn’t really bother with the A.T.Kearney and Jones Lang LaSalle rankings either, should we? (Btw, if America were to define responsible press the way we do, she may as well write off the Fifth Amendment.) Anyway…

I rest my case about Singapore being win-win in justifications to the max and being shamelessly obvious. The aforementioned report clearly speaks for itself. But no worries, it won’t ever speak to no Singaporean who always has the better perspective to do the things which matter most to the country…. Yadda-yadda-yadda.

And so our Minister Mentor has related his “personal struggles with language” (ST, Nov 26, ‘04) and why bilingualism has “to undergo a radical shift” in the education system now. He stresses that “realistically, the vast majority of people can master only one language and that parents should have the choice over which master language they want for their children”. Wonder what took him so long to realize something as rudimentary as that? Being in a nation of chow Ah Bengs makes it that much harder to think straight, perhaps? Round, like a circle in a spiral…

“Error in execution, not in policy” – the ST was quick to defend the “radical shift”. Yadda-yadda-yadda. Goes to show that I’ve been right all along in saying that intentions were good but the extent of execution is detestable. As for the vast majority of parents deciding for their children…

Look, two days later (Nov 28), the ST trumpeted – “Cool speak…Hooked on Chinese… more Singaporean Chinese are embracing their once dreaded mother tongue”. Can it be possible that the feature was aimed at dissuading other Chinese from embracing their mother tongue? Looks like the undecided needn’t worry about indecisions, if you ask me.

Obviously, nothing’s too obvious for Singaporeans to stomach. In fact, turn in an obvious propaganda and Singaporeans will think it’s a trick-question. At the risk of repeating myself, may I remind all that BigO has (self-)terminated its bi-weekly e-mail updates and no one is really asking why. No one could, no one dares, no one bothers…. But then, no one even begins to ponder about the implication of all that! Amazing. Uniquely Singapore, indeed. Not to forget, hip & swinging too.

I’ve come to realize one thing about the big casino debate – to have or not to have one on our oh-so-moralistic shores, is the big question. You know what? It’s certainly not as imperative to have casinos as the pro-economic argument upholds, and that’s my take. If it were that important to have casinos for our economic good, there’d be casinos by now. Look, did they ever ask the public if it was alright to license gay saunas on these shores? Yet, gay saunas (with bustling free-sex in dark rooms) are thriving with no questions asked because of our urgent need to preserve the pink dollar. So if you ask me, I’ll say that there’ll be no casinos in Singapore at the end of the debate. Just so we can show our people and the world that we are indeed truly democratic about it! Hah! Not democratic enough for me to put two and two together, luv!
Allow me now to introduce my own ranking of Singapore. My beloved country is probably the most un-supportive country in the world when it comes to homegrown English pop. We’re talking figures, honey. For a population of almost 4 million, we’re not that miserably small a pond. By right, we could still sell triple platinum! Ah… but then, you know what qualifies as a homegrown English bestseller? Let me tell you, innocent ones out there – 500. Not 500,000, honey. 500 units! (Discounting local English Christian-pop CDs sold in churches, of course). I dare say that for a country whose business language is English and the majority of her kids educated in English, we WILL qualify as the country with the poorest homegrown English-CD sales in proportion to the number of English-speakers.

Why the dismal and pathetic support for homegrown English pop? Wanna be told how the government killed off the local English scene 35 years ago?

That would take quite a few essays if not an entire book of revelation. Or, simply ask those who know… if not BigO. And, of course, the policy that started the massacre was justified. We’re quite-quite sure of that. – X’ Ho