April 2005
Uniquely Un-ridiculous
Tell me if it's not ridiculous. The annual gay Nation Party that started some three years ago was called off last December because the Senior Minister of State for Health finally explained in Parliament that such parties “might be the reason for the spike in Aids cases last year” (The Sunday Times, Mar13 '05). “Might be”. And still our population in general considers us to have a rational authority, while the ‘rational' authority dares think we've moved away from Third World mentality!
Y'know, I'm not just referring to the paranoia of the Parliament-mention. How much further from the truth can it be when outdoor gay parties are viewed as a potential cause of spiking Aids when there exists a handful of fully licensed, highly active gay bath-houses on our isle and no one is talking about them or their bigger potential spike! I've mentioned this issue time and again. No one reads me? Hello, if I make a litigious remark about the grand old lord of small fries, I can bet you that my sorry ass will be hauled to court tomorrow. Nobody reads me, indeed!
One advertising executive Ms. Linda Kwek (and mother of two toddlers) was quoted in the aforementioned report saying: “Homosexuals, like anyone else, have a right to whatever lifestyle they fancy. But if this right becomes a potential threat to family values, then I would rather live in a country that is labeled strait-laced than one plagued by Aids and heartbreaks.” Well said, Linda. But let me put it to you this way.
If your hubby is bisexual and isn't open about it, there's a greater chance he'd visit a local gay sauna on the sly than attending an oh-so-public gay party to indulge his fancy for a score. So what's an annual gay party compared to the cluster of fully licensed, daily-operated gay saunas as a threat to your marriage institution? Anyone can tell you the logic there, except Mr. Transparent Big Brother, of course. Why not ask him why he hasn't done so, or why he's not even mentioned the local gay saunas?
So much for the ‘family values' morality issue you so righteously raised. Hint-hint, Linda, the mighty Pink-dollar is YOUR priority too in the name of our national economic stability! I bet you didn't know that. Like I said, so much for your righteous family values perspective.
Then again, heartlanders will believe anything from the top, while the ‘intelligent elites' know better than to argue with Big Brother. After all, in a place of qualified free speech (hello Speakers' Corner, you're still there?), certain perks await those who speak right ! Besides, who has the absolute prerogative to win-win arguments (besides this writer)? Every smart Singaporean knows… and they're smart enough to stay mum. And angkat buntat rightists (who know where their bread is buttered) will give you a list of wonderful justifications for Big Brother's win-win rationale longer than my peter.
The same report above noted that in the latest figures of new Aids cases, nine out of 10 are men and a third of them gay. A third! That, my dearest GE-voters, means MINORITY (no matter the demographic proportion)! Do you even begin to wonder about the lifestyle of the two-thirds until the national press tells you to do so? (No worries. I'm sure by the time this essay surfaces, the press just might tell you since Secret Intelligence has all the time to snoop into my computer to scrutinize my X'Ho-Files in the making. Hi there, Secret Intel officers, I do envy that pay-cheque of yours!).
Do we ever talk about the potential hazard (and threat to family values) of the alarming increase of streetwalkers from China flooding Geylang these days? Oh dear, even your complaints appear to be State-cued. Maybe I should really be shivering in my seat now. But y'know, I am as ‘rational' as my Big Brother who loves me. So shiver me timbers! But many quietly do, and I have a ‘poetic' explanation why.
“No lurking ghosts, just friendly folk” went The Straits Times headline on Mar 22 '05 about the post-Tsunami devastated Phuket Beach in Thailand. The reverse, I'd say, is true about Singapore. Over here, we've got no friendly folk (unless it's for a purposeful agenda to be met), just lurking ‘ghosts' – frightfully defensive and kiasu ones at that. And still no one here dares to be out-rightly shivering! Told you we have our own unique shriveling rationale, hon! Me and Big-Big Brother are so proud of you all.
Anyway, what's a little slip in rationality when in time it could be explained away as an ‘honest-mistake' slip and when we have “a Masterplan, just in time” (Digital Life supplement of ST, Mar 22 ‘05). The new infocomm masterplan is called “Intelligent Nation 2015”. Once again, that's INTELLIGENT NATION. I know many of you are too numbed out to even bother with ironies on these shores.
But why wait ‘til 2015? Let me answer that for you as Big Brother would for every scratch your head gets. It's simply much more exciting when there's a countdown involved for us to pro-actively work towards. Yadda-yadda. Besides, it won't look good when the head gets big too instantly. And looks are everything in Singapore, even when rationale gets dumber and dumberer and our frustrated folk get numb-er and numb-erer.
You think I sound ridiculous? You mean you know ridiculous? - X'Ho
