September 2007

Golly, Got Folly, Meh?

IS magazine in a pandering tribute to our 42nd National Day last month named 42 reasons why we love Singapore. Actress/director Beatrice Chia-Richmond was quoted saying “I love Singapore because… we have daily identity crisis!” That’s kinda like saying I love rotten fruits cuz they smell foul! Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Beatrice at all, especially when she is merely expressing what a lot of Singaporeans implicitly understand about the system and how powerless it renders us in the bargain. Let’s not forget the invisible OB-markers, party-whips and casual interrogative harassment that are there to keep us all in check. Just ask film-maker Martyn See, or Alfian Sa’at about his relief-teaching episode. Can I just say then, that similarly, I love flashing the swastika and other symbols of rightist power like I have an identity crisis and I’m proud of it! Confusing people and making light of my own weakness surely helps, yah? It’s all that I’m reduced to, anyway. And I love it.

I finally saw it with my own eyes. The book that must be a recommended text for all young PAP members: Thinking Allowed? by Warren Fernandez who pens the Straits Times column Thinking Aloud. Where else but in Singapore would such a title come with a question mark. Yes, my friend, emotional and intellectual fascism has been unquestionably accepted here (and the book is sheer proof of it) ‘til signs of robotic behavior threaten to undermine future leadership of the country. Hence, press button to send out signals to activate gray matter dynamism again (“use your brain, use your brain” – Gurmit Singh sang). Why do you think the great interest in the arts these days? Yes, we are damn ‘soulful’ when it comes to running campaigns. We have so very many… A friend just noticed one about littering re-surfacing again. Bet many Singaporeans are also oblivious to the re-‘surfacing again’ phenomenon.

Here’s something else I noticed. A poster for a bygone film festival at The Arts House: “The Best Of The New York Erotic Film Festival”, carrying the tag – “Porno chic is now here”. Imagine the oh-so-hip impression it leaves on visitors to our shore. Think we brought such a festival to The Arts House? Pur-lese. It was… just for show, lor. So, if you next go to The Arts House and the poster is no longer up on the wall near its Screening Room, know who’s ‘silently’ responsible for bringing it to society-watchers’ attention, hor. YET, some souls think my X’ Ho-Files hardly warrants an anthology!

“Malaysia at 50: A nation in no mood to celebrate” was the headline of a ST write-up on Aug 13. The description below a printed photo of the Malaysian PM read: “Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi won a landslide majority in 2004 on a promise to treat all equally and to tackle corruption, but few believe that graft has been reined in.” Why do you suppose corruption hasn’t been reined in? I think any thinking person knows that it has everything to do with the strength of the central power in question. Put simply, Malaysia probably doesn’t have as powerful a government or leader as, say, Singapore to run graft-culprits aground, especially the ones holding high-offices. Even America, from what we heard, doesn’t. See how powerful Singapore’s government is! Let me give you a somewhat allegorical example of its fearsome status.

In Dick Lee’s witty spoof of the national ditty Count On Me, Singapore (as seen on YouTube.com), there’s a part where he sings – “Not Lee Kuan me, but Lee Kuan __” and signals to the responsive audience (seen laughing away) to shout out the blank-word. They never did. Cuz, let me conjecture, instinctively they didn’t dare. Not even when the singer was a Cultural Medallion recipient and everyone else in the responsive audience was enjoying himself/herself showing great spontaneous reaction and support to the singer. Not even. It’s a great moment that says more than any essay could. Poor Dick had to just move on to the song’s next lyric. But we all know. There’s a big difference in saying ‘you’ when it’s spelt ‘yew’!

But we just wouldn’t know the difference between a good and bad leader, would we? That’s why in the ST Classifieds editorial, there’s an article spelling out “Good and bad leadership” (its headline). Why? Cuz in Singapore, we only know good leaders! Know any bad true leader on our shores? True, being the key word here; meaning, someone who truly leads. Oh, don’t bet on it, if need be, ST will name you 200 to prove me wrong!

I have arrived at a simple caption to describe the drive behind my persona as an author, and it’s there on my myspace.com profile xhosux. Simply, it is “exposing cheesy ideological one-upmanship”. What’s the chance, you reckon, of the term cheesy or one-upmanship being spun with spoofs or new perspectives in the ST hereon (date of writing this – 14 Aug, so start taking note immediately thereafter, yah?).

Let’s just say that I have great ambition when it comes to cementing my name in their books. Last month, I said that they must hate me, really hate me. Well, I hope that from this month on, I’ll be able to say – they must hate me, really-REALLY hate me. That’s what ridiculous one-upmanship is about, isn’t it?
Learn to see whose folly? -- X’ Ho