June 2007

What's PR When You Got YouTube?

Upfront-column news in The Straits Times on Apr 17, 07: “Manila’s war on human trafficking faces hurdles”. Just the day before, The New Paper’s front-page news offered: “Singapore’s matchmaking agency’s anniversary celebration offer 15 China brides for free”. And it can only because the authorities here have long legalized bride-buying from another, shall we say, Oriental country. So, if the Philippines is in need of economic-aid by way of offering cheap labor, why doesn’t it sanction human trafficking the way we do and rationalize it as a national home-affairs requirement? Ahhh… alas, we are Uniquely Singapore, that’s why! Nobody, but nobody, does it better.

“Ark De Triumph” was the headline of a Apr 22 feature in The Sunday Times about a huge animal sanctuary, housing 1,000 strays, run by a Singaporean Raymund Wee but in Pekan Nanas, Johor. He first organized the sanctuary in Singapore seven years ago but the land he had it on was outbid in the land’s tender. (It’s all about the money in Singapore, ain’t it?!) The feature quoted him saying: “Noah’s Ark is a place where animals can live out the rest of their lives happily and die with dignity.” That’s certainly a very foreign, if not alien, concept in Singapore especially when we’re only talking about stray-animals. Hate to harp on a familiar grouse of mine: What does your average Singaporean know about dignity? Especially when the country has all the money to buy a semblance of it!

“Intellectual property (IP)? Most Singaporeans could care less about” – the headline of ST’s Upfront on Apr 26. In response to that, my siow friend asks: “Can we be bothered why that is so? Guess who’s the biggest usurper of IP in an unquestionable way?” I could only cast my sights on my bank account of $200 and offer no answer. He says: “No need to answer, we all know.” Sweet.

Some folks are probably wondering what my reactions to Minister Mentor’s view that Singapore could possibly decriminalize homosexuality… Well, let me remind all that if not for our stated national quest for the Pink Dollar, we’d still be a conservative, Asian family-values society that does NOT require any tolerance towards homosexuals. All justified and accounted for in the name of economic survival, y’all! Like I said a long time ago, once you can convince the Singapore government why practising gay-sex enhances the national economy, we’ll even be flying the rainbow flag outside the Supreme Court of Law! But for now, with the growing number of gay night-spots licensed (not to mention thriving saunas) to enhance the pink dollar, Big Brother is certainly looking as if he is really being open-minded. Ain’t it sweet! But honey, WE’RE ALL LIVING OUT A LIE in the first place that it’s okay to accept gays because it’s a money issue! Shush!

“Thai govt. turns to PR firm to boost image” – ST, May 2. Eh, why doesn’t Singapore ever require such a service? That’s like asking – how to achieve Singapore’s level of economic and political success? Easy – gain complete control of the country’s entire daily media, namely radio, TV and the daily press – underline complete – and you’re on your way! F*#! PR!

The New Paper on Apr 23 asked: “Why the usual bland questions?” at a young PAP dialogue session with the Minister Mentor. Well, any ‘provocative’ question might just get the MM all defensive (like the last time on TV) and scoff: “Are you asking that I step down?” Alas, nobody but nobody bothers about such mundane atrocities anymore. Least of all, MM’s comment during that dialogue-session: “The biggest mistake any Singapore can make is believe that Singapore is an ordinary country and can behave like an ordinary country like Malaysia, like Indonesia, like Thailand, the Philippines, Vitenam, Australia, New Zealand, Denmark.” (ST, Apr 23) Nobody even bothers to protest that such an inflammatory critique endangers the well-being of our citizens overseas. All it takes is for a Singaporean to visit any of those ordinary countries and encounter a right-wing nationalist. Don’t worry, we don’t know how to worry for ourselves no more. Wait a minute… those in the audience at the session are young PAP members – the future leaders of tomorrow listening to the MM… What does that say of our country? Let’s just ask the Straits Times, they do have the right answer for EVERYTHING, you know!

After I captioned my myspace home-page myspace.com/xhosux -- “Awaiting God’s report on Singapore”, there was an ST headline “Is there a place for God in public morals debate?” by Chua Mui Hoong talking mostly about the MM’s stance on gay tolerance (ST, May 18). Sheer coincidence, of course! Let me remind all that when it comes to Singapore’s social and economic policies, there is NO coveted place for God at all. Remember what Big Brother said in the to-have-or-not-to-have casino debate? “It’s NOT a religious issue.” With that, do we still need to read Chua’s godly pontifications? Besides, talking about what’s tolerable about gays in this day and age of Net-culture is really so-so primitive, if you ask me.

Alas, I only realized in mid-May, why the local press has been doubling its patriotic efforts with a vengeance. I accidentally ventured into YouTube.com and discovered some pretty shocking videos on… ahem, our Minister Mentor (among others)! Especially the one by sgpolitics that comes with a song. Ai-yo! Not exactly something our control-freak leaders could stomach just yesterday. But now… tsk tsk…! With so much outrageous riposte slipping through our cyberspace cracks, what do you expect from our happy-hostage press? Sit back and just pocket their six-month bonus?

Do pity the poor sods, digging at the last bastion of rationale to cook up some sensible rationalization to save our country! You gotta admit, in this day and age, it’s no longer a piece of cake. Even as we want to have and eat it too. Poor things! -- X’ Ho