January 2007

Poo…Poo…Poor Art Critics

You think I’m being ‘fanatical’ in my critique of Singapore? It ain’t nothing compared to the kind of rightist-extremists that exist on the isle, seemingly on the whim of a national agenda. You should hear what one said, writing to The Straits Times’ Forum on Set 19, ’06 to say that CSOs (Civil Society Organizations) boycotting the IMF meetings was a ‘bad move’. He wrote: “The Singapore Government is accountable to us, the Singapore people, who elected it democratically, into political office, repeatedly I must add, with overwhelming support.” He is talking about a support that translated itself to be 66.6% of votes scored by the Govt. at the last election. Considering the kind of progress that Singapore had packaged, I personally consider the figure rather under-whelming. But alas, it’s a figure to be super respected. Who dares speak ill of the number of the beast? Not I. Which is why I go on trumpeting it as a cause for celebration. And I have the next four years or so to go on with it ‘til the next General Election. What say you – the chances of the ruling party re-gaining that same percentage with the same utmost transparency of non-adjustment to percentage-points? I have utter confidence in Singapore in that respect!

Considering that the system here has dug its own grave to face with the dire need for future leaders now, the Sunday Times headline on Sept 24: “Govt. opening up, step by step” sure sounds like a description of the way the ground six feet under is reacting.

Theatre-critic Hong Xinyi of the ST (she had apparently incurred the wrath of Theatreworks’ Ong Keng Sen so much, he tried to have her barred, albeit unsuccessfully, at his Diaspora production at the Esplanade last Sept) had this to say about The Necessary Stage’s Fundamentally Happy. “The character of Habiba is possibly one of the most interesting female characters to have graced a local play in quite a while. She begins as a comfortable cliché, the maternal fusspot. Gradually, she is revealed as a creature of ambivalence, the architect and resolute resident of her own fool’s paradise” (ST, Sept 26). Sounds to me like any old fool’s affinity towards this paradise here…. Yes, I’m saying Hong is spot-on! This is not an attack on her critique. Pur-lese.

On Oct 5, Straits Times’ Life! ran a piece about the perils of being a local art critic. Well, we certainly know why. “A British art critic recounted how he was sent a bag of poo once. While being an arts critic in Singapore isn’t quite so odious, there are perils to the job” – it pointed out. Let me say something about the real peril that an ST art critic (or any ST writer) faces – something that all thinking Singaporeans kinda know but will never be exposed in the national press. When it comes to EVEN art critique, one critical comment that appears to ‘undermine’ the positive image of the Singapore system and he or she will be getting something worse than a bag of poo. Let’s not breathe that ‘touchy’ word MARGINALIZED for now, yeah? Besides, what makes you think that any Singaporean sending a bag of poo to an art critic can get away from police investigation? Well, go on, eat your own shit and believe that the scene here in Singapore is just like London – dynamic and provocative in nature.

So much for all the facile comparisons we’re so fond of making in the press with half-truths tugged away left, right and center. No, I’m not saying what Clara Chow wrote in her essay about the perils of being an art critic is a lie. But like most of everything else about Singapore, it’s always only half the picture. The me-all-good-no-bad one, of course. While the rest of us ‘stayers’ sure understand the innings that nobody but nobody can really talk about in our small-minded but always of ‘global standing’ isle. Poo…poo…poor art critics, more chow (-smelly) than you can ever imagine! And pur-lese don’t choke on that, we’re really, uniquely very proud of ourselves.

A design consultant, who gave a talk in Bangkok, revealed that when he was in Singapore, a certain official asked him what legislation should be affected in order to encourage creativity. Telling. Law-by-law is, after all, the law of Singapore. Be it about creativity, humanities or courtesy. Now you understand why we’re walking ‘robots’, or such mindless digits.

Newest sharp sub-text in a Singapore-film about Singapore is in Singapore Dreaming (directed by Colin Goh and his missus Woo Yen Yen, and co-produced by Woffles ‘Woff Dog’ Wu). A newly widowed Mrs Loh (played by the wonderful Alice Lim) reflects aloud on times passed and choices made. She said: “I was a young girl from Muar, Johor and I wanted to be a singer. Then, I met Ah Huat (the husband), he had a handsome Elvis haircut. He took me out dancing and promised me he’d take care of me for the rest of my life. I gave up my dream to be a singer and married him on that promise” (not exact words). Tell me if that’s not exactly how the Singapore Dream has been co-opted.

The said husband in the film, by the way, dies from a heart-attack outside a country club he aspired to be a member of after winning a $2 million lottery, and he’d cheated on his wife by fathering a child with a mistress. Think of our paternalistic system and its promise to look after Singaporeans and you’ll have no wonder where individual dreams went and how ‘bastards’ are made. It’s good too that the TV-soap-opera-looking film won the Mont Blanc Award for Best New Screenwriter (for Goh and Woo) at the San Sebastian Film Festival. Maybe the Spanish do understand Singapore more than the local papers would allow us inkling of. Kudos too to Goh and Woo for adding to the 5Cs (cash, car, credit card, condo and country club) of our so-called Singapore Dream a sixth: coffin. After all, the way some go about their wealth, it’s as if the coffin accords them the means to lug it all to the next life! And you know, in powerful Singapore, perhaps that kind of power does exist for the special elite!

Actor coming clean, Mel Gibson, on his drink driving arrest last July, said: “I can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.” Well, when it comes to the paste, Singapore can, not only put it back in the tube, but even make the replenished tube look brand new too. I’m making this up? It wasn’t me who came up with the national catch-line Uniquely Singapore, you know. They must dare for good reasons too. All tubes under full control, no less.